A Lack of Spontaneity
by Chezza
Summary: She couldn’t even remember how it started. SJ UST. [Set Season Two.]


**Disclaimer: **Stargate's not mine as I'm sure you all know, nor do it's characters belong to me. This kind of writing earns me no dough, so you get to read my fic for free! 

**Authors Notes:** Written for the SJFic Word of the Week challenge, 'Spontaneous'.Ah, the good old days… Way back when an MP5 meant an automatic weapon and not some future version of a multimedia file (MP3s, MP4s…geddit? God, I'm good! g) Don't you miss them? ;)

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"Face it Carter, you're just not…"

A hand was flapped casually behind him in her general direction, as her CO continued to wander along.

"…spontaneous."

Sam stopped still and blinked in surprise at his words.

"I am!" She protested.

A quiet 'yip' and the sound of fumbling feet directly behind her, proved her point. It also told her that her sudden lack of movement had caught Daniel by surprise.

She felt a small twinge of guilt for making him look awkward. Even though her CO had his back to them, didn't see it happen and subsequently couldn't tease their team-mate for his lack of surefootedness, she still felt bad about it. In an attempt to apologise, she quickly reached out an arm to steady Daniel as he appeared beside her. He shot her a grateful look, which Sam took as forgiveness and turned her attention back to the conversation at hand.

She couldn't even remember how it started.

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When off-world, the Colonel tended to keep their sporadic conversation light, as they walked along. He kept the conversation moving along, much as they did, never allowing them to stay on one topic for very long.

Sam knew he had a very good reason for this. It detracted from the world around you. Become too involved in a discussion and you became distracted. Too wrapped up in the exchange of ideas to pay any attention to your surroundings. She knew it frustrated Daniel sometimes, but in the field that level of distraction was not only unacceptable, it was inexcusable and downright dangerous. Deadly, even.

It put yourself and those around you at risk and that was something she knew the Colonel would not tolerate, no matter how much Daniel had grumbled in the beginning. These days though, his occasional complaints tended to be half-hearted rather than heart-felt. Spoken more because they were expected, than because they were actually meant. The Colonel had been proved right too often on this point, for Daniel not to accept his reasoning. However begrudgingly.

Not that there was anything which could conceivably be considered even remotely deadly on P5R 617. The scariest thing they'd seen in the entirety of their time on the planet, was a three-inch-long blue lizard. Which had vigorously defended its territory against a small orange bird, not much bigger than itself.

The bird had dared to approach the thorn bush where the lizard lived, on the edge of the clearing where they'd set up camp last night. The lizard had run at it. The bird had flown away.

And that had been the total extent of the indigenous life they'd seen in the past two days.

Sheesh. Even she was in danger of becoming bored on this milk-run. And that was saying something.

As a result, the Colonel was as relaxed as she'd ever seen him whilst on a mission.

Which, she had to admit, was a particularly fine sight to behold. Even though she knew she shouldn't be being thinking it, that it was hardly an appropriate thought for a 2IC to have, she couldn't help but appreciate the view.

He was sauntering along with his MP5 swinging at his side. Hand resting lightly on its top to prevent the gun from bouncing with each movement and impacting his thigh, every time he took a step. Which – rather frustratingly for her mental health – she was finding as sexy as hell, for some reason. And wasn't that completely annoying? Heck, she'd been working with guys and guns since she entered the Academy! He simply shouldn't be having that sort of effect on her.

Part of it she knew, was down to respect for his abilities. She knew, that should trouble rear its ugly head, the MP5 currently hanging lazily off its strap, would be raised and aimed accurately with the safety off, in less than a second.

It was that particular thought which was causing her problem, since it made her feel secure and confident enough to relax and let her own guard down a little. The Colonel's instincts were far better than her own and she'd grown to trust in them – and in him – implicitly, over the past year. If he didn't feel threatened, then neither did she.

But it never hurt to be cautious.

So, whilst random thoughts of just how good her CO looked in his BDUs, popped into her head at odd intervals - usually when she was least expecting them - any in-depth discussions remained the purview of lab work and their conversations jumped and skipped. Touching briefly on a wide range of subjects, before finally morphing into an exchange of descriptions, concerning acts carried out on the spur of the moment.

Like the time Daniel had flown halfway round the world for two days, merely because he wanted to see the exhibition showing at the British Museum. This in turn, had prompted the Colonel to mention his brief stint of training with the British SAS, in the early '90s.

Which he'd apparently requested for no other reason than simply deciding he needed a change. And he'd thought it would be pretty cool. Which apparently, it was. Although from the sound of it, Sarah O'Neill had been none too happy, hence the reason it was only a 'brief stint'.

The Colonel had sounded a little wistful at that point. Which, for yet another reason completely unfathomable to herself, had left Sam feeling annoyed at a woman she'd only briefly met and the rest of them making an attempt to move the conversation along.

This in turn, had led to Sam being asked to tell a story of her own. Only for her to realise with sense of disheartenment, that she had nothing to add. Everything she'd ever done, she'd always taken the time to consider properly before making a decision.

Even when she'd decided to go back for Cassie, when they thought she was going to die. In that case, she'd weighed it up and decided that even if her hunch didn't pan out, she couldn't leave a scared young girl on her own to die in such a horrific fashion, even if the cost was her own life.

She wasn't ashamed of the choice she'd made. Because of her actions they'd saved the life of a loving young girl and she was fairly sure her actions that day had helped earn her the Colonel's respect. Another bonus. But to say that was the closest she'd come to being spontaneous…

Yeah, it was quite sad really.

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"Nope. Sorry to tell you this, Captain…but you're not."

The Colonel's reply dragged her thoughts back to the present and she hurriedly started forward again as she realised he hadn't stopped walking.

"I am!" She insisted again, becoming annoyed with his apparent lack of belief, even though she knew her words to be a lie.

The Colonel shook his head and she wondered, if she could see his face, whether he would be smiling at her obvious frustration.

Probably.

"Or at least I can be." She qualified. And she could. Or at least she'd thought she could... Really.

The Colonel was still shaking his head. No doubt finding it amusing to wind her up over this, so she did the one thing she knew would cause him to cave in.

She appealed to Daniel.

He was a fellow scientist, he knew the value of analysing all relevant data before reaching a conclusion. That didn't mean he didn't act without thinking things through at times.

He'd back her up, right?

"Daniel?"

To her mounting disbelief, her supposed comrade-in-arms slowly shook his head and winced slightly as he answered.

"Sorry Sam, I…I don't think so."

Apparently not. Whatever happened to geek solidarity?

Daniel took a hasty step back as Sam glared at him, and pushed his glasses back up his nose. She wondered if he was regretting becoming involved right about now.

She certainly hoped so.

A soft chuckle off to her left, diverted her attention away from a relieved looking Daniel. The Colonel had turned around and was regarding them both with an indulgently amused smile.

"Easy there, Captain."

Sam's glare deepened into a scowl. Easy for him to say! He wasn't being accused of a lack of spontaneity.

"I'm not saying that it's a bad thing."

He shrugged and turned back around to continue walking.

"Just means you can be a little predictable at times."

Okay, that one hurt.

Sam narrowed her eyes at the back of his head. Suddenly she wasn't finding him half as attractive as she had five minutes ago.

Predictable, huh?

She'd show him. And Daniel too, while she was at it.

She head Daniel mutter a soft 'Oh boy,' under his breath and take several more scurried steps backwards, as she bent down to the ground.

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She couldn't say what made her do it. Not really. It wasn't as if being accused of not being spontaneous was the worst thing anybody had ever said, or was ever likely to say about her, during her life. Like the Colonel said, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

She just didn't like it. In an odd kind of way, it felt like a failure.

She'd worked so hard to earn his faith in her. To prove she was the right choice for his 2IC. Being so uptight over the whole 'feminine rights' issue, meant she hadn't realised until much later that Jack O'Neill wasn't the type to make snap judgements - especially those based solely on a person's gender - and she needn't have pushed quite so hard.

By the time she realised that he didn't expect such high standards from her as those to which she drove herself, she didn't dare give him any less. Not because she believed he would think less of her. She had a feeling there was very little she could do, which would make him think that.

She knew if there was ever anything she couldn't do, that if it was anything less than failing to prevent the destruction of known world, he'd probably just shrug his shoulders and say, 'Never mind eh, Captain? Better luck next time'.

But because…she didn't want to repay his trust by letting him down. Even though she knew he wouldn't see it as a let-down, it would still feel that way to her.

It wasn't until several years later that she finally figured out why.

Either way, being told she couldn't be or wasn't able to be spontaneous, made her want to prove him wrong. Although there might possibly have been a small amount of revenge mixed in with it, too. She wasn't overly sure.

Because, really?

As she stood and stared in horrified fascination at the dark, thick, slimy, mud, now dripping slowly down the back of the neck of her frozen-in-place CO, analysing her actions wasn't at the forefront of her mind.

She did however, come to the dawning realisation of why she wasn't a spontaneous person.

She enjoyed her career too much.

**-fini-**


End file.
